i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
