I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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