problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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