There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
