Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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