Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
