Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
