he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
