Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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