so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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