I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
