C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
