1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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