She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
