even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
