your parents love me but you hate me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
sex in a hospital.. check
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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