At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
