I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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