Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my sisters under your porch take her home
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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