I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
