Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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