you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize