Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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