I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
