U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
