WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
