Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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