Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
