it wasn't lemon gatorade
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
