ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
