you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
