Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize