i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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