Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
