your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
