I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
