the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
