This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
