I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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