the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
