just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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