1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
