Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
