Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
