It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
