Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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