i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just had sex bonerless
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
