Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
