So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
