the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
and you fell through a lawn chair
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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