Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
