wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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