Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Houston, we have a blender
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
