is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
