yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
