Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
