Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
