i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You pole danced in your parka.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
