allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
