bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
