Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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