Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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