She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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